January 2010
30 posts
Buffed Up
Friend: Hey, dude. You been working out?
Me: Is that a serious question?
Friend: You look (puts arms out to his sides) big.
Me: Ah. Nope, no working out. Got a thermal on.
Thanks, Winter layers!
Jan 28th
J. D. Salinger, Enigmatic Author, Dies at 91 →
I woke up this morning and everyone is dead.  Lord, just don’t take Dan Brown or John Grisham.  They’ve got so much left to give.
Jan 28th
1 note
Howard Zinn, historian who challenged status quo,... →
valleygirlintelligentsia: Sad news of the day… “Simply one of the greatest Americans of our time. He will not be replaced — or soon forgotten. How we loved him back.”
Jan 28th
3 tags
After discussing and thinking about it very... →
This is some seriously outlandish business.  Enough is enough with the “body modification”.  When I hear modify, I think “make better”, not “how about we lop off some appendages and switch shit up a bit!”.  All this shit about challenging ideas about the human form and pushing the limits of what a person’s body is or isn’t never really held water....
Jan 25th
Jan 24th
112 notes
5 tags
Jesus Foreskin →
This is fucking atrocious on a number of levels. It’s high time someone called Madonna on her bullshit. I want to remember Blonde Ambition not, Winter-Summer romance regurgitation.  Click the link to destroy the world as you know it.
Jan 22nd
Jan 22nd
2 tags
Maybe God gave me extra because he knew what I... →
Jesus.  I don’t even have the heart to make fun of Heidi Montag at this point.  It’s become sad and easy, like “that’s what she said” jokes, only their is a numb-faced dolt involved and she doesn’t understand them.
Jan 21st
3 tags
Jan 21st
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It’s hard not to be in awe of Tito Ortiz’s head.... →
An article about why people get knocked out. I just thought it was from getting hit in the head.
Jan 20th
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Jan 20th
2 tags
Two Kinds Of People In The World
People who bring their toddlers to the movies. People who don’t bring little bundles of oops to the movies. Some of us had sense enough to use birth control.  Have your kids, go ahead.  But get a fuckin’ sitter too, huh?  None of this show up late, make a ruckus, and then sit right next to someone with your infant and already pregnant girlfriend.  If you make or take phone call, that...
Jan 20th
5 tags
WatchWatch
You probably shouldn’t watch this video.  You definitely shouldn’t watch this video if you are at work or if there are children around or if you just want to go on living a quasi-normal life.  This will change you.  It will, according to the guy in the video, “challenge your idea of what a penis should be”.  What he doesn’t mention is the fact his unit looks like a...
Jan 18th
Jan 18th
3 tags
Jan 14th
3 tags
Two Kinds Of People In The World
Those who talk during a movie.  Those who don’t.  Never the twain shall meet.
Jan 13th
4 tags
Jan 12th
3 tags
“Fuck, the whole bible is about shit. Shit and jizz revelations. ...”
– Excerpt from an e-mail I sent last year.  Clearly I was engaged in some heavy shit.
Jan 12th
3 tags
Jan 12th
3 tags
Jan 12th
4 tags
Jan 11th
3 tags
That Would Be A Good Band Name #11
Fatwah Cocksleeve. *Courtesy of an e-mail I got last March.
Jan 8th
3 tags
Jan 7th
2 tags
Jan 6th
4 tags
Jan 6th
3 tags
Snookie
Before she was an oompa-loompa orange, guido loving, pork sword craving slut from Jersey, Snookie was simply my grandmother.  I’m told the name came form an old radio show.  Wherever it came from, Snookie was the only name I knew her by.  Had someone referred to “Grandma Mary”, I’d have assumed they were talking about another family altogether.  She cursed, liked to eat...
Jan 6th
3 tags
Jan 5th
3 tags
Celebrity Look Alike
Richard Boone, better known as Palladin from Have Gun Will Travel—ask your parents about him. Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. Based on this alone, I think we to need Have Gun Will Travel 2k10, stat.
Jan 5th
4 tags
Jan 5th
Jan 4th